June 7, 2013

Qoorgadstein's Syndrome

Hi everyone,

Vincent's decided to enter FLASH MOB 2013, a flash fiction contest celebrating International Flash Fiction Day. The guidelines for the contest basically said "push the envelope."
So tell us what you think: has the envelope indeed been pushed?

Here it goes:

Qoorgadstein’s Syndrome.

Neurological disorder of the frontal cortex leading to rapid personality decay, irrational anger, confusion, and, eventually, loss of physical substance.

Epidemiology: Incidence is reported at 0.001% but is probably underestimated due to difficulty in observing the later stages of the disease, after loss of substance occurs. This may lead to cases never coming to a physician’s attention. It has been theorized that the only way to observe the terminal stage is self-documentation by the patient himself. As Holly always said, if you want something done right, do it yourself.

Etiology: Unknown. It has been noted that most patients had suffered an emotional loss prior to disease onset. This has been dismissed by relevant authorities as an idiotic load of crap! Nobody knows anything useful about this, it seems. Morons. At least maybe they’ll rename it after me now.
How long has Holly been gone? A we k? A month? Twen y years? Time eludes quantification.

Clinical Presentation: The patient f rst demonstrates personality decay, with alternating bouts of irrational anger, confusion and depersonalization, oft n described as a “feeling of not being here.” This is fol owed by moments of looking in a mirror without recognizing your ref exion. It stares ba k like a goddamn stranger. Is it me, Holly? As the disease progresses, the patient notices a thinning of his body’s subs ance, as if he was b coming transparen . The capacity to inter ct with th  physic l world is gr dually lost.

Evol tion and Pr gnosis: The t rmin l stage h s ne er been  escribed, since a l kn wn cases h ve d sa peared bef re th  diseas had r n its                . It    bel    ed         atal.


  1. A very similar story (with essentially the same punchline) appears in "The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide To Eccentric and Discredited Diseases" (2003 -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thackery_T._Lambshead_Pocket_Guide_to_Eccentric_%26_Discredited_Diseases ), though I do not currently remember the author.

    It's a very fun book, if you like this sort of thing.

  2. Damn, and I thought I was being completely original and a genius and all!

  3. FOTFLMAO! Which means something coming from someone with mild brain damage... where did I put my, oh forget it. All joking aside (but only for a moment) people always want to write about disease like they are writing for a frigging movie of the week - PLEASE! Why are those STUPID videos of people getting hurt (America's (not) Funniest Home Videos) okay, but it isn't okay to laugh about disease? Or to admit that these people have genuine issues and they aren't all "bravely blah blah blah". Loved your flash - it will stick with me for...well, as long as things do considering I do have a memory issue. But I think this one will stick a bit longer - good job! Feel free to read (or not) read mine - Leslie Muzingo